• Change of Heart

    by  • July 11, 2013 • To You • 2 Comments

    Explanation. What happened was when you began to act like your true self i.e. Mr. Dick Face, I was bombarded by disturbing memories. I must have squashed those suckers way down deep because to say I was disgusted with myself for even speaking to you again is an understatement of epic proportions. But because I’m not without a soul like you, I was bargaining with myself to try to think of reasons why we could still maintain contact – i.e. was trying to see if there was anything good left at all. Guess what the final assessment was? There wasn’t much good to begin with!

    The mind and memory plays many tricks I’ve gotta tell you. I must have made some really good shit up in my mind because honey, you are one fucked up mentally ill sociopath.

    My error was treating you like a human being and expecting human responses…you know, someone who actually had feelings! So sorry, my mistake. I know I can be pretty slow on the upswing, but damn, you really had me snowed there. See what happens when a person puts their faith in you? Of course you do. They end up like your friend over there thinking one thing while you have something vastly different in mind.

    So back to ME – (which I know is a serious handicap for you to even grasp that others have feelings and *gasp* life goes on around you). N-E-Ways, I literally woke up the other morning and realized you make me sick. Mentally, physically, and probably psychically if that is even possible.

    It was people like myself that kept you alive. You have to feed on good hearted people in order to pretend you actually have a personality, a heart and soul. When I look back, you would always say the things that people wanted to hear; to believe. But when it was time to come through for anybody other than yourself, you didn’t know how to do it. You didn’t want to do it. Only when there was something in it for you did you ever go just the tiniest bit for others. Gross.

    It all makes perfect sense now. All the things that happened in your life. All the things you did to me and to others. And it all makes perfect sense why I was attracted to you in the first place. I was raised by a narcissist. I could never get their validation. I turned into a perfectionist; a people pleaser. I was ripe for the picking and probably an awesome target because of my challenging aspects – i.e. I had shit going for me, etc, etc.

    Well my dear, another source of supply gone. Your world is crashing around you and you only have one option left. Well, there’s more than one option left. But we both know what you’re going to do because, well, you’re seriously devoid of humanity.

    God help her.

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    2 Responses to Change of Heart

    1. Really J
      July 11, 2013 at 1:01 pm

      If that is truly you then I am saddened by your misconception of how everything happened. I just deleted my vent back as I no longer care if it is you and your broken self. The comments you say have shown your true colours. For your own family to say such things about you says it all. Always remember that as that is the truth. Even your own family said you were broken and to blame for all your relationships. funny that & yet I still tried for so long as I loved you. You proved them and me right by your words now and actions once more. I had written something grand for one such as you but ill leave one last note. Your sister and brother in law deep down don’t like all your friends because…are how do you put it argh toxic thats why they don’t go t their weddings or wish to hang out with them as she once did. Once again they told me this lol, they don’t like them one bit! Do you know your fucking up your parents dream of living in their homeland because of your childish selfish ways. Your dad won’t leave you as they are so scared because you fuck everything up in all your relationships! Guess what those were his words. So there you have it your selfish ways are stopping your parents live their own life’s in their final years. What a daughter hey at your age. Goodbye forever loveless soul marijwana. Oh your name also means “Bitter” if its you. Perfect Latin meaning.

      PS no partner will ever put up with your BS of having so many male friends that were ex’s that you continue to see. I laugh at you and your pathetic life. One big lie. Oh I forgot to mention, I’m engaged! Bye bye to you and LINS


    2. author
      July 11, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      @really J – you are completely fucking delusional. I’m not you person.



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