• It doesn’t work on me anymore

    by  • June 24, 2013 • To You • 1 Comment

    There was a time I laid down on my apartment floor in the dark filled with anxiety having a panic attack, hiding from you. I didn’t remember that until you started doing some of the same old crazy making tactics from the “good ol’ days”.

    You used to stalk me. Even when I thought things were fine, you’d follow me. You’d accuse me of some crazy stuff. You’d try to confuse me with your innane arguments and twisted logic. I even knew you screwed with me online in the beginning of our relationship trying to see if I’d cheat. (Bet you didn’t know I knew huh?)

    You had me so turned around and confused back then that I actually thought I deserved what you did to me. You also threatened me with “secrets” you knew about me. You threw the biggest, sickest tantrums when you thought I was hurting YOU. Looking back, all I ever did to “hurt” you was stand up for myself.

    The worst, the absolute worst thing you ever did to me was punish me when I felt depressed and insecure. You would argue with me, stalk me, berate me until I saw myself as the bad guy, and then you’d disappear for days on end acting like you were the one who was licking your emotional wounds.

    And I forgot all about it. I guess it was all so traumatic I couldn’t let myself remember… until we reconnected and you began playing mindgames with me all over again under the guise of friendship.

    Let me assure you that I remember it all now. It all came flooding back the moment you asked me to do something. I remembered right then with absolute clarity what a fucking sadistic, selfish asshole you are.

    One Response to It doesn’t work on me anymore

    1. R
      June 24, 2013 at 3:40 pm

      Wow, that’s terrible… I’m sure they had a reason, most likely just very insecure in themselves and afraid of being hurt. They work themselves out, perhaps try to help them since it seems you really cared for them…

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