I really did think the world of you.
But you know that.
I just wish you had left it that way, with all the memories fading nicely.
This got pretty messed up, us ever talking again, with our situations, this site – everything
You are a coward.
I’m not judging you, I can’t, I dont even know you.
But I used to think I did. And it hurts my pride even now to realise you just strung me along for fun and games.
That’s why I cried, cos I was vulnerable enough to believe you again.
I just thought you were a better person.
I honestly do not give a shit if you dont have feelings for me, but you told me differently and I believed you were trustworthy. You head fucked me.
You even told me you married for a visa?! What is wrong with you?! You never had to lie! we could’ve just been friends!
But I’ve tried to focus on what a dick you are to make myself hate you. A lot. But I end up hating myself, cos you are a dick and it doesn’t change how I see you. I have over analysed everything trying to change it.
And I see you, all of you, even the bits you think dont show. I don’t care if that is one of your lines, I really felt it.
I had a huge lump in my chest from pretending it was anything different for me. And life is too short for stupid games.
I love you. And you dont love someone because you think they love you back, it’s who they are. I love you as a friend, as a person and I started to fall in love with you. Ok maybe I fucked up and fell in love with you. I just have to admit I love you so I can be ok with it. Because while I could talk to you forever, you are married so there is nothing more to say. I respect you both.
It’s not right to tell you this, hence the site but I will feel better imagining you know this and now that it is off my chest. I hope.