• This Door Is Closed

    by  • June 4, 2013 • To You • 9 Comments

    Hi you,

    The beauty in my recent mental transformation is the realization that you are not a real friend.

    You cut me off, take me for granted, and you only really communicate with me if you need to vent about your problems or you want something from me.

    When I want to talk about my feelings or problems, you skim over them, tune me out, or say some trite bullshit to pacify me.

    I realize that a solid friendship isn’t about the length of time two people have known one another. A solid friendship has give and take.
    I was in denial about how you treated me over the years. Now that my blindfold is off, all I see is reality.

    You’ve only been my “friend” when there was something in it for you. Or when you thought there would be something in it for you down the road.

    I’m not angry or sad. The truth is, I’d be upset if I felt as though I was losing someone who actually gave a shit. But how can I “lose” you, if you were never really “there” in the first place?

    I don’t want people like you in my life. You are a fair weather friend.

    9 Responses to This Door Is Closed

    1. Ouch
      June 4, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Ouch….I’m glad I’m not them as that would sting! Luckily I only knew her for a year….thankfully:)

    2. anonymous
      June 4, 2013 at 12:11 pm

      D- There are many different kinds of love. Please do not ever think that I didn’t love you with my whole heart. It may not have been the kind of love you wanted from me at the time that you wanted it but it was absolutely love and there were times when it was the kind of love you later wanted from me, but you weren’t interested during those times, so I was content to be your friend… your best friend, I thought…

      I know that things spiraled out of control ever since that week that I was so sick and I know that I said things I shouldn’t have said (I think you might have too). I was hurt and confused by how you were acting and if I could take everything back, I would in a second. I never ever meant to hurt you and I honestly thought I was being a good friend all these years. The times when I’ve started to walk away, it’s been out of hurt and confusion and because that’s what I thought you wanted or needed me to do but I never actually left you. I did listen to you when you wanted to talk about things (and I could give you countless examples of things that I listened to and helped you with over the years) but in recent years, you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about your feelings or problems too much so I didn’t ask so I wouldn’t invade your privacy and I didn’t think I vented too much but if you feel like I did then I guess I did, but you always seemed like you wanted me to. I thought it let you know that you were special to me when I confided things in you since I don’t confide in other people.

      When I asked you to do things for me, it was because I got to spend more time with you and I loved spending time with you. I could have asked other people but I thought you liked spending the time with me too so I was never taking you for granted or trying to get anything from you and I don’t know what could have been in it for me other than a friendship that I treasured. As for something down the road, I did always believe that we would be more than friends again when I was older and my health problem was fixed and I was ready to be in a relationship but if you want to close the door on any possibility for anything other than a friendship ever, I understand. I honestly thought that’s what you meant last summer… so I thought I was giving you what you wanted and needed from me. I never took you for granted, I treasured you. I’m sorry it didn’t come across that way and I’m sorry that you think I’m a fair weathered friend… I thought we were the truest of friends. I’m sorry and I’d give anything to turn back the clock and fix everything because you still mean the world to me. I’m still a kid and I’m still growing and learning as a person. I try my best and I don’t have bad intentions. I’m going to make mistakes, just like every other teenager in the world but I do love you. I do miss you. I do want to be a good friend. I don’t want this to be the end.

    3. lanadelreyfan
      June 4, 2013 at 1:26 pm

      Wow the comment above me seems to think this letter is to them…that seems to be happening alot on this site just lately..or they are hoping their person will stumble upon this and see there comment..or im completely wrong and they are actually their person…hmm oh well I dont know tbh lol

    4. author
      June 4, 2013 at 1:27 pm

      I am not D. I don’t know who you are but you’ve made a mistake.

    5. dearly
      June 4, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      I should say something very similar. I’ve most certainly thought it. I drew my line.

    6. Me
      June 4, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Sometimes just closing the door is definately the best choice, especially if you really want to move on. Live, learn and move on. I am sorry, but sometimes I am sorry is just not good enough, sometimes it comes too late. Just be glad that the blinders came off.

    7. You So
      June 4, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      Right. When have you ever been there for me. Half thetime I got sick of you playing Master of disguises and for that you deserve to be ignored. Like you said you don’t need someone like me in your life.like u been something great grand and wonderful for me .Maybe one day you will stop acting like am the villian of your feelings.

    8. To the Author
      June 4, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Dear Author,

      Even though I know you not, your story resonates with me as I feel as though I have unwittingly done the same to a woman who once loved me. Only recently we spoke after many months of NC & she generously offered her hand in friendship. I thought she was just being nice & I said some things she didn’t like. Why I burnt that bridge was so stupid as I was still raw with emotions with her(we were in love;) I lost her there & then. I loved her more than she’ll ever know. What I’m trying to say is we do listen & care very much, I personally was walking on egg shells as I didn’t wish to upset her which was my own downfall. In short I wasn’t being honest with me or her. I miss her friendship immensely. It is too late for me but for you I only hope you have told this person as you may, may not get a surprise?

    9. author
      June 5, 2013 at 11:13 am

      My person does not come here. I am not your person @You so.

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