Well, I don’t know what to say is my mind playing tricks on me or am I just so blinded by what I want to see that I don’t see the truth here.
I’m not angry upset or anything it’s just the way i’m expressing myself because i’m so confused.
I don’t know what to do I want to talk to you I want to ask you I want to know what is going on.
But I don’t want to.
My heart is telling me one thing and my head another I don’t know which to trust anymore do you realise that you’re even doing it or is there a reason behind it because if there is I sure would like to know.
What is going on I really need to know.
I guess i’m never really going to know because i’m never going to pluck up the courage to ask you.
It’s got to the point where I can’t even talk to you on the phone anymore and that’s because of me I don’t know why but I just can’t I saw u ring me I had the phone in my hand I wanted to answer it and talk to you but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I love you so fucking much and I can’t even talk to you so, Wtf is wrong with me too. I’m actually getting close to tears sat here writing this and I don’t even know why I can feel the lump building in my throat.
God i’m just so fucked up in the head I try to act as normal as possible when I talk to you but if only you could see that my heart is breaking behind my words.
I miss you
yes I have been different with you but it’s only because that’s what I thought u wanted and now I just don’t know.
And no i’m not saying you are fucking with my head but please just be honest with me I hate feeling like this and don’t hide away from this because even though you try to hide it it shows,
I feel you, even though we are miles apart now it’s so strange it’s like we’re connected somehow and I know that just sounds weird but it’s true
I love you.