• I hate you/myself

    by  • May 29, 2013 • To You • 0 Comments

    I’m busy all day then i come home at night and as soon as I stop I start crying. what the fuuuuck?
    I feel mental.
    But you broke something in me, you cunt. And I don’t really know why I cry but I know it’s you. And sometimes i just sob I hate you i hate you until it goes away.
    You make me feel so stupid. You know I don’t do affairs and maybe that’s why you tried.
    Fuck your timing, how did you know I had finally let go after holding onto memories for years and years and years. That time at the beach sigh i finally gave up on it.
    Why come back? easy comfort? Were you just bored and fucking evil?! Did you just want to “punish” me again? Why spend those months getting to know me now, why insist we meet and why why why why WHY say THOSE things. That is the worst part, it’s just cruel. I could spit on your face now I know they are lies!
    I hate that you could do this to your wife. But i made the excuse that it’s cos you love me, and I thought it was the same way I love you – ha! I’m soooo fucking stupid
    I hate you most cos i fucking believed you and I am hard to fool.
    You’re married so I will never tell you how I reaaally feel, plus you know enough. I should be glad that I couldn’t let go and fuck you properly, make love to you again but now I kinda regret it cos I will always wonder what it would have been like
    I hate that in a heart beat I would run to you and find out if you asked me to.
    i hate you
    i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
    You knew what you were doing, cut the bullshit this is all you. All i did was trust you.
    You won’t read this so I can say: I will always be in love with you, always.
    Even though you’re a fucking dick.
    When I fall in love again it will not be the same, you got a part of me and you don’t fucking deserve it. At all.
    But I fucking miss you. I miss talking to you and I missed it for years and years and years but I only just admitted it now.
    I would worship you and I hate that about myself. I am completely weak for you.
    I hate that I write on this stuuupid website cos im so ashamed of how I feel, I’m that stupid girl. I broke down in front of my mum on the weekend, what the fuck
    This is not me
    that’s enough
    I have to let go

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