So….I just pulled myself out of a sea of depression. I was all, “wah wah wah woe is me”. But, thankfully, I’ve pulled my head out of my ass and I’m back to me.
Through it all though, (well mostly all), I had someone I loved. Someone I consider my best friend. Someone I consider to be very close to me. He made a big difference. Until it got complicated.
Complicated. I hate that word. It doesn’t even begin to describe our bond. Anyway, he was there for me for awhile. He was going through something too. But something happened and BAM. He was gone. I know he’s going through a mass amount of stuff right now. I’ve tried to be there for him. He shut me out though. And there is nothing worse than being shut out when it starts with a misunderstanding and never talked through.
I have to ask myself, “WTF, maybe we weren’t such tight friends after all?”
But I know that’s a cop out. I know that’s utter bullshit. We have seen the worst and best of eachother over the years and we are still standing. I’ve known his secrets and he’s known mine. So it really, really pisses me off when I don’t know why it’s the way it is now. It’s all smoke and mirrors and fucking excuses.
Nothing hurts worse than someone just leaving. Nothing hurts worse than when someone calls you their rock; their best friend, and disappears. Again.
So yeah, I’m back and no longer depressed. But I’m pissed. Pissed enough to hop a plane and kick someone’s ass. Because I keep my promises.