Sunday 7th April 2013
Hello from the other side of the desk.
I’m writing to you today, to ask, nay, BEG you to stop giving me your fucking opinions on my phonecalls.
When I tell you about a tricky or awkward call, I just want someone to listen, and understand. I’m simply looking for empathy.
Perhaps I’m being naive but in my Sydney job, we used to vent and moan to each other all the time. No-one criticised, no one said what they ‘would have’ done or what I ‘should have’ done. Nobody commented on the others phone style. No-one was ‘too’ patient or ‘too’ nice. We all handled the calls in our own ways, and so got through the hours, the days, weeks and months.
The thing that pisses me off the most, is that you wouldn’t do any of the things you say you would. It’s all to easy to give advice when it’s not you.
• When your dancing teacher was rude to your face, turned his back on you and walked off, did you say anything? No, no you did not. How odd, given how forthright you are, when all is said and done with my phonecalls. Did I give my two pence worth? Or offer advice? NO. I listened. I know how hard it is to handle these situations, and we do our best
• You’ve been having trouble sorting your car out,and it would appear the two garages are both fobbing you off. Have you given them what for? It’s hard to tell, because you make these calls on your mobile, away from the desk, but we hear very little on the subject, so my guess is ‘NO’ and You’ve also said you don’t want to look like you are telling them off. Again I am confused, as you tell off my callers with apparent ease, long after I have handled the call in my ‘nice’ way
• One of our drivers didn’t make his car troubles apparent, until after he had handed it back. When you told me about this, you admitted you had handed it to our manager. Because you didn’t think it your place to reprimand him… yet it should be my place to reprimand, handle and deal with all these calls I get.
XX I wish you would shut the fuck up on this issue. It makes me feel small, and worthless, and like I can’t do my job properly.
Since I cannot make you shut up, nor tell you, without you running to XX. I will have to handle this myself.
As of today. I am no longer engaging with you on this subject. I am no longer telling about what my callers say, or what the subject matter is.
I am no longer asking for your input with any carefully worded emails, I have to send.
If you speak to me first, I will of course converse with you. I will answer your questions, and assist you with any admin work.
But i will no longer look for empathy, or understanding from you. It’s clearly a closed shop, and the management have all gone home.
Incidentally, you’ve decided not to go travelling, and instead have ‘holidays’ with your boyfriend, to the far flung destinations you crave. Such as Australia
Let me tell you, that desire will just eat you up, and ‘holidays’ while wonderful, are not the same thing at all. You’ll never see and experience things in quite the same way as packing a bag, and just drifting from place to place. But will I actually tell you this? Nope. I understand and respect your decision. I don’t agree with how you are handling this, and I think you’ll regret it. But perhaps it’s actually none of my god damn business.
I think this ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ is a bad habit of yours. And I must start to see it like that, and not take it to heart.
What you don’t realise is, not everyone has such a close family. Some of us have never had emotional support, we have only faced criticism, and negativity. So when you make these thoughtless comments XX, you are dredging up a whole world of stuff, you can’t possibly imagine.
For my part, I probably keep trying with you, because you give me the exact reaction I am comfortable with. I feel put down, and weak. Maybe it’s to make yourself feel better, you are clearly not quite as bolshy, and forthright, in your own given situations.
Well you know what? Fuck you and fuck you!