• i have broken my own heart

    by  • April 5, 2013 • Depression • 0 Comments

    Yeah I was stupid for thinking you had fallen for me I mean how could you.

    I was kidding myself when I thought those things that you said were meant for me. I’m so fucking screwed up now how could i let myself become so deeply in love with you I don’t know when It happened it was along time ago but i did ok. Now I just cant seem to fall out of love with you im not sure if I want to tbh but all I know is im fucking hurting right now you may not have meant to fuck with my head but it did and now im really screwed I can be ok one minute and the next feel like my heart is fucking breaking all over again. Yeah like I said I did it to myself I am young naive and fucking dumb and its all because I love you and thought mabey you loved me too.
    I dont want to feel like this anymore I dont want to hurt this bad but I do all I can do is take one day at a time and today is another day where ive still got the curtains shut the lights off dont want to move or do anything or talk to anyone..except you and your proberly busy with you own life. I know your life cant revolve around mine but I wish It did I wish you could see the pain I am in and feel the pain with me and help me I want help I need help I cant get over you. there never was a me and you.
    There never will be a me and you and that fucking kills me.
    I feel like my whole life is meaninglessness now without you around I dont want to do anything anymore ive never been so sad in my entire life ive never felt so much heartache as I have these past few weeks Im on an emotional roller coaster at the minute and I wished you really cared!
    Until I sort my self out im going to hide from the world because I feel ashamed of myself for falling so inlove with someone who never has loved me and never will.
    I dont want your pity! And feel sorry for me I want you to know just how much I am hurting though and how much you have an impact of my feelings..I never knew you would have this much impact and believe me I wish you didnt BUT YOU DO !!!

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