I get so worried about it, and all I want to do is cry sort of, but that doesn’t ever seem to solve the problem. Listening to music makes me kind of emotional and so I turn on the Christian Rock. At least I can count on God? I’m actually not too sure how I feel about that…I want to be somewhere warm, like the beach. I think that would be the beginnings of better; I mean to feel the sea breeze. I’d really like to get there. And I’d love to laugh sometime.
Hah, and I probably dream too much. But it only happens in my sleep and I don’t sleep often enough. I should try meditating more. It’s so cold in the park these days but the world is beautiful. Sometimes it seems that the beauty is hidden under garbage. And there’s that other saying, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Could that mean that one man’s problem is more cope-able than the next, or like the grass is greener on the other side? I don’t know, I think I should stop thinking for a while, maybe stop being so hopeful, maybe start taking charge. Down with hope? Or is that too negative?