• I’m mad and hurt and yet I couldn’t help but wish you well.

    by  • March 4, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 2 Comments

    You’re a big mess! Perhaps, I gave you what you deserve! That is crap! You’re a selfish gigolo. You only care about what you want, feel or like. What only mattered are things that please you and when things don’t, you quickly run away.

    You’re such a coward! You don’t have the b_lls to answer questions frankly. You avoid serious questions because it makes you vulnerable, and as such, ruins your image of a “dude.”

    You’re a typical Mr. Casanova who deserves no love and attention. You’re a flake! You said you don’t like the limelight and yet everybody knows you. It’s always you – the center of attention.

    You said yourself you’re a jackass. I guess I don’t have to say it coz it breeds in you. Poor you! I pity you for being heartless! Perhaps, I found you in a not so credible place so what I suspected is what I expected.

    You have the gift of charm. You easily swept me off my feet. You brought butterflies in my stomach and sunshine in my gloomy days. Thank you for that! Having you around during my frustrating and trying times kept me strong. Your presence was a delight as it brought joy and blew my worries or frustrations away.

    No matter how troubled you are, who would think you’re someone’s God’s sent? Yes, you are to me. It’s insane to consider you, but you made it to my life. Not everyone can come into my life. I choose who stays, others I don’t take the chance.

    Hearing Princess Infanta’s words from Le Cid’s play struck me most, as she resigned to the fact that she could never have Rodrigue, whom she loved dearly, and that she so wished Rodrigue would marry Chimene soon, his dearly love, so her misery would die with it. I wish the same for you. I want you to be happy beyond what power, fame or prestige can deliver. I seek that you find the “one” so you’ll feel the kind of love that will set you free from being a dude.

    Falling in love is such a wonderful feeling, whether it’s mutual or unrequited. I take it’s a bliss when it’s shared between two lovers. I have yet to experience that. For the times that we hanged out, I thought I felt it that it was mutual but my gut said it was doubtful.

    A simple innocent question – do you care? – You couldn’t answer. You couldn’t utter a word. You said you told me many times that I should avoid you. How come I didn’t hear it? Perhaps, it wasn’t loud enough to stick into my mind? Despite of your so called warnings, you stayed. Why? You could have left sooner and disappear!

    I wish not to say this but I think – you’re such a loser, a user and a big manipulator! You delight in playing people’s minds. How dare you! I knew I have my faults too for letting things happened – that’s falling for you to soon. If there’s something about you, I admire you for your tenacity, being able to pursue your dreams despite of any hurdles that come your way. I guess you do deserve the attention.

    I can only take a lesson learned out of those times spent with you and perhaps, I should work on unloading those memories from my mind from now on.

    Despite of it all, I offer you a prayer that He brings you all the things that you desire in your life and that He gives you a loving heart that seeks to freely share it with everyone and to someone special for the rest of your life. May the Lord bring you peace to calm your troubled and restless heart.

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    2 Responses to I’m mad and hurt and yet I couldn’t help but wish you well.

    1. The Eagle's Call
      March 4, 2013 at 7:30 pm

      Quite unlikely…

      but.. what if?


    2. manana
      March 7, 2013 at 8:31 pm

      quite unlikely…
      moving on would be it!



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