• I feel Empty

    by  • February 19, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 1 Comment

    It feels like I am pretending to be a normal person. I might joke around and laugh but at a deeper level, I feel hollow and

    Empty.

    Also worried. Or scared?

    I don’t know.

    It’s like I’m walking around everyday hiding those dark feelings.

    I don’t like this.

    I think, well, I am pretty sure I am pushing all my friends away. I don’t want to tell them how I’m really feeling because I don’t want to burden them with it. And I don’t want them to feel sorry for me, or look down on me.

    I am also worried I’m overreacting and making this a bigger deal than it is. Maybe if I made more of an effort to ignore the feeling it wouldn’t affect me so much.

    I don’t know,

    I don’t know.

    I’m just hoping I feel better eventually. Preferably soon.

    One Response to I feel Empty

    1. Bella F.
      March 5, 2013 at 7:11 pm

      I’m hoping you feel better soon, too.

      In the mean time, I hope it felt better just to share your feelings here, because I do believe that here, for all of us, sharing what we can here in all its forms, is helping.

      And I, like you, never like to burden those close to me with my deeper dark feelings, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep them all bottled up either… I would suggest not pushing away anyone who cares about you or who cares to ask you how you are doing, I use to do that, push away my friends and family when they only wanted to see me happy… upon reflection now I see I should have been just a little more open to them, because you never know: they may have been feeling like you, or have felt like you are feeling, so they could ‘relate’ to you, but you never even gave them a chance to show you this.

      Ummm, again: I wouldn’t ignore any feelings that you have, so I would suggest always giving yourself some time to reflect on any feelings, but then, also giving yourself permission to then set all those thoughts aside for a while, and then go find something else to do… even coming here and posting helpful comments to others.

      Sometimes one just needs time to veg out (doing things where you don’t just sit and dwell on the negatives), so to say.

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