• I am a Runner

    by  • December 28, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 0 Comments

    I am runner.

    or at least, i’ve just decided I am. I am going to get up. and run. because If I don’t change something in my life, I’m going to fall apart.

    I am over weight. I mean it’s not like I look like a marshmallow with no figure, but I for sure am too chubby for my own liking. Obesity runs in my family, and I don’t want to end up like my parents. I need to change.

    Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend. He is an international student. He was mysterious and charming. He seemed just so kind and he always made me laugh. I fell in love with him very quickly, and I thought I had found the one.

    Turns out, he was just a really good liar. Speaking a different language than me helped in that. He had gone home for the summer for three months and when he came back nothing was the same. He was just different. We fought often, and things were on and off for several months.

    I finally thought that things were starting to get back to normal. He started talking to me about our future together. Claiming he wasn’t afraid to do that like my previous boyfriends. He told me I wouldn’t have to worry about him cheating on me because he would never do that. He told me that he loved me, and that he was mine. I was just so in love with him, I believed him like a damn fool.

    Long story short, I found out he was probably cheating on me with another american girl, and to top it off, had planned on getting engaged to a woman in his home country while he was visiting over this winter break.

    He refused to talk to me about the rumors of a girl spending the night (Several times) at his house. He refused to tell me why He didn’t want a picture of us on facebook (even though i had several of pictures from the beginning of the relationship) He got so mad at me if i asked him where he was going. I told him I that if he wasn’t able to make time to talk to me, than I didn’t want to be with him. I simply said “I’m done” and he hung up. That was all.

    I never got to ask him about if he was planning on getting engaged, because I found out about that after I broke up with him.

    I have never felt like more of a fool. I trusted him, I believed him, and I loved him. And what did he do? He used me. Plain and simple. I helped him with literally everything. I was just some american girl who never said no.

    I just am so sad that I could not have seen it coming. How did I ignore all the signs that something was wrong? How could someone play me so bad?

    I’m a nice girl. I’ve never cheated on someone. I’ve only loved and cared about people. I am too nice for my own damn good.

    So. I am a runner. Because If I stay in one spot for too long, I’m going to fall apart and I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick up the pieces this time.

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