• I’m not transparent, am I?

    by  • December 27, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Resentment • 3 Comments

    Maybe it’s the hormones. Maybe it’s just the timing. I don’t know. I believe in Occam’s razor theory. So let’s go with the simplest explanation. You don’t appreciate me. I can understand resenting me even. You have to work eight hours a day for us: our family to be. A high risk pregnancy is not what I asked for. Actually I did not even ask for you to be around for this. I gave you a thousands ways out. The honorable path is the one you took. You chose to stay which is more than anyone could ask for. You knew having this baby would take a heavy toll on my body. I have numerous restrictions which we knew would happen. Well what I did not predict was the resentment. Of course, it makes sense. After an eight hour shift, you’re exhausted. The other day I asked you what you thought I did all day. You said lay around and watch TV. Hurt flooded through me. The house isn’t magically perfect. Meals don’t just prepare themselves. The nursery didn’t put itself together. My mom doesn’t take care of herself all day. I do these things every day. No thanks are given. No appreciate ever found. I can deal with that to a certain point. I’ve reached that point. Every morning, I get your breakfast and lay out your clothes. Every day, I clean up your messes, the house, and do your laundry. Every night, I cook your night, clean, and spend the night trying to keep you happy. I’m eight months pregnant. I’m exhausted. I’m breaking more than half these restrictions for you. All I get now is silence when you come home. I thought it was because you were tired. I thought it was because you were bored. The more thought I put into it… The more my heart breaks. I want you to be happy. I want you to want to be here. I can only wear myself out trying to make you happy for so long. Can’t do that anymore, love. Our baby deserves more than this exhausted body. Please stop resenting me. Honestly, I resent you for being able to work. I resent you for being able to go out. I’m too exhausted. I’m too pregnant. Can’t wait until we can fix this. Whatever night you’re not too tired… I’ll try to talk to you. Unfortunately, I don’t know when that will be.

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    3 Responses to I’m not transparent, am I?

    1. anonymous
      December 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      Men get a little weird like this towards the end of the pregnancy. It’s a little weird, but I think he might be jealous of the baby. My husband did this too, it all works out in the end. You may be paying so much attention to the nursery, etc. that he is feeling ‘neglected’. I seem to recall there is a book on this phenomenon, it happens to a lot of men…I think subconsciously he might be afraid you’ll forget about him. Sometimes a man just needs a little patience and it never seems like a good time, when we are so exhausted and our bodies are dead tired…Hope things get better.


    2. Love
      December 27, 2012 at 6:55 pm

      How sad. I do not think it is the hormones maybe he is feeling trapped. Doing the honorable thing is not always honorable if that is an unplanned pregnancy. I keep telling all the women I know make sure he loves you and only you, men don’t stay for the children; they stay because they love the woman. Also, unless they want a child badly most men are not in a hurry to become dads so it is a recipe for disaster when they are shoved into it. Too bad really. I truly hope it all works out for you. Good luck.


    3. @love
      December 28, 2012 at 4:57 am

      Why are you putting negative thoughts into this woman’s head, she is eight months pregnant. Maybe he really does love her. This happened with my husband and it was a ‘planned’ pregnancy, we had been married 2 years prior. They may have been in ‘love’ despite not being married. I think that it very well may be hormones, the hormones of a pregnant woman are all over the map. Leave this poor woman alone, the 2 of them will sort it out. God!!!!

      To author: I’m sure he loves you, don’t listen to love. Men worry that once the baby arrives they will no longer be the object of your affection the baby will, you just have to get him to spend time with the baby. Men love babies you’ll be surprised, I’m sure he will be very proud. I am sure it will all work out. Stay positive.



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