I remember those email that had “You…” in the subject line. I always loved reading those emails. I still can’t believe that all these years later and I still think about you every day. Really, every day. Whether it’s a song on the radio taking me back, a time of day, the way the sun is shining, stepping outside and breathing in that crisp cold air…..they always bring me back to you.
I can’t say that I didn’t fight for us….I did, I really tried. But what I live with now is the realization that you didn’t, and it hurts like hell. Why? I’ve always wondered why you didn’t fight for us? Was it just too much “work” for you? or even worse…Was it because you just didn’t want to be with me? If the latter is the case, why couldn’t you just say that. If you didn’t love me any more why not just tell me. Why did you keep me believing that you wanted us to be together?
I wish I could hate you….but that is not me. I wish you would have given me the closure I needed – that I deserved.
I should have listened to my gut – I told you when we first started talking that if we ever got together that I would just end up waiting for you to break my heart…and you did……the only thing I didn’t know was how deep the cut would be nor how long it would take to heal. There’s no use in complaining, now is there….after all…I’m the one that let you in. Now I just need to figure out how to get you out…..