Dear Callum it’s been ages since we broke up. it’s been ages since i thought i was over it and it’s been ages since we spoke. I almost forgot you existed, moved on or whatever but for some reason i started remembering all the good times we had together and how you made me feel. I found myself asking myself what the hell happened to us then i remembered how we ended. There wasn’t even a reason for it apart from you changing and me being a bitch and not realising what a tough time you were going through, taking advantage of just how much you wanted me. i don’t want you back. it was probably best it ended when it did but my biggest regret was the way it ended. We could have fixed it but we let it fizzle out. I got unnecessarily bitchy and we just told each other to f*** off and that was it. it was over. i felt the weight of what i had just done fall on top of me but i ignored it, i ran away from the pain and just distracted myself, pretended it didn’t hurt, told everyone else i was fine and convinced myself i was but i wasn’t and i’m still not. i never got over you and probably never will. you taught me a lot about myself. i wouldn’t go back to it now because I’ve changed and i have no doubt you have too but i lost a friend as well. i lost the one person in this world who had the power to tell me i was beautiful and for a split second i would genuinely believe it. if only i could apologize for what i said, thank you for what you gave me and have one last hug to say bye ( the thing i HATE is how we never said goodbye ) There would be none of this guilt and regret. well there’s nothing i can do now because you probably hate me and guess what? i hate me too. This is as close to goodbye as we’ll ever get i guess so.. goodbye first love, I’ll never forget you.