I know you’ll never read this however if by chance you come across this read it with an open heart. Leave you mind and thoughts out of it. Your minds thoughts are too smart for something written by me from the surrender of my Soul and Heart written here.
Can we? Will we? The chance of TRY?
I’m sure that you ask yourself the same question.
“WHY ME!” when by this point we both should be saying “TRY ME!”
You are so much more mature than me in many ways. You can crush me at anytime you wish. I have more Faith and Trust in you now that I know you wouldn’t.
We are so much alike in the person we hide behind our own walls. However on the outside we look so so different. I have so much unspoken words for you just wanting to leave my lips. To be tenderly spoken to your Heart. In hopes that your brain doesn’t make you think to run. How is it that a Non~Relationship Lover move our Souls to want to become one so immensely. Don’t think about the physical. Yes physical as one is necessary however not the most important to me. Yes you know how I like sex no I love it very much I think you might too. In this situation it is not of importance right NOW. One day it will be. If that is where the main foundation is set then we both set each up to fail one another. Yes we fail from time to time. That’s a good thing really because we grow together openly without judgement. Something that I feel we haven’t seem to obtain in our present time with others. I think in our present time in outside world we have tried till we’ve turned blue in the face. Yet those outside foundations are set in stone already. We’ve given it our all. If my assumptions anger you I’m sorry you have every right to call me an ASS hOLE.
My down fall is I want the very best for you. Always in every moment and every breath you take.
I understanding you get frustrated because I can’t totally express myself at times. I hide. Do you really think it feels good to be this way. I just turned 23 this Dec 13 and I hide. I should have no excuses! However maybe a few possible explanations. Please read me out. Yes I am very advantaged to the outside world. I thank God daily. However with those advantages the very first one is what started this journey of the troubles of spoken deficiencies. I can get into details yet I don’t need to. Just try to understand from a person with no super high education find it in your heart not to look down on the people who hide & silently cry. They never meant or want to be like this. I do feel good that this has been brought to surface. It helps me to try to break from this habit created from the outside world. I thought the words you spoke would affect me in a hurtful way. Maybe as my low self esteem speaks volumes threw out this letter I’ll never send. Yet my esteem is raised because you have taught me to try and find ways to come out of this hide in a corner feeling/doing. You did good. Please do me a favor if not me for you. Don’t look at the bad, sad, negative in this letter. Look at what is being learned. Please don’t respond with anger or hast. Don’t make me regret this new trust.
BTW I do love myself. Yes as you know my demons come out. Just because they come out and they are there doesn’t mean I don’t love myself. What I do feel is hate. The hate is for actions about
Myself. If I didn’t love myself I wouldn’t be able to feel that Deep Love I have for you.
I LOVE YOU I hope that is enough for you.