Words can not describe how awful I feel right now.
No matter what, you didn’t deserve the scratches on your arms.
I feel like a failure as a friend to you.
I admit that.
My gut told me to stay home last night and I should have just listened to it.
There are not enough sorrys in the world that I can possibly convey to you in this moment.
I wish I could just make this all go away but I can’t.
I can blame the alcohol, I can blame the stress I feel some days.
But that is not fair to you.
Or to me
We are better than this, always have been.
I know is that I can’t handle my drinks either sometimes.
I think we both battle the same things inside and instead of standing together as friends,
We battle against one another, like children.
We live in paradise. We are alive
We are missing out on life.
I am sorry Babe. I do love you .
Please know that.
My dark, selfish side came out last night.
If and ever you call me sweetheart, I will cringe until I am capable of deserving that again.
I love you.
I am so sorry.