• For Frank…

    by  • December 22, 2012 • Miss You • 0 Comments

    One month after
    I know what you’re thinking about me right now. You think I’m just some crazy physco bitch that’s just trying to ruin your life even more. But thats not true, and if you really knew the true me, you’d know that too. I guess I understand the saying “crazy in love” now. I loved you, I really did. But I made too many mistakes and my feelings were scattered. At first you made me happy, and then we just got in so many fights. I still wish that I could change back time and have my old life back with you. But I know that would only cause more pain and confusion towards my family and myself. I moved on, but that doesn’t mean I still hurt. Everytime I think about you, my heart hurts. That pain will never go away. Sometimes I miss you. But I know how you feel about me, so I just write letters to you that you will never read. I probably won’t ever talk to you again in my life. And that hurts because when I think back on 2012 all I can see is us living together, happy. You were such a huge part of my life. And everything you said to me comes back. It sucks that everything has to change. And your feelings went away. I am happy, but not as happy as I was when I was yours. You honestly did complete me. And missing you hurts so fucking much that I had to replace you with someone who would make me forget about you. Yes, I am completely in love with Roper. And he treats me better than you did. He makes me happy. But there is still a difference between you and him. He isn’t you. You are the only person who can truly understand me. Everyone tries to tell me that its a good thing that you are out of my life. Or that I am out of yours. I guess I let you get the best of me. And now you left a huge brick wall around my heart that I don’t even think you could tear back down. It hurts because you left your son, Nugs. Even if he was just a dog, the relationship you two had was perfect. It hurts you let that all go. And I know this is gonna kill you also, but you’re not “daddy” anymore to him. Roper is. Roper doesn’t care if he gets me pregnant or not. I know that he loves me. I know that you weren’t something I deserved. I derseved way better, then how you treated me. I know you have anger issues, but you don’t need to get violent with you own girlfriend. I miss you frank, because you weren’t just my boyfriend… In the end, I wish i could just accept the fact that you didn’t wanna be with me and should have just let you go. Because I wouldn’t have lost my best friend also…. <|3

    [2.24.12-11.22.12]
    Rest In Peace Tabby+Frank. <3

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