• I will never say goodbye, because I will see you later

    by  • December 21, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Grief • 0 Comments

    You meet people everyday, some of them you never see again, some of them just fade out of your life, and others become your enemies. But there are always those few and far between who make an impact on your life forever, and have a permanent place in your heart. I was in the sixth grade when I met Eddie. They say life’s too short, and yours was taken from us to early. There’s so much I want to say to you, so many things that I cant believe we wont get to do or talk about.

    I miss you.

    Its all I think about.

    ——-
    When I think about it I cry
    When I run away from it, it sneaks up on me
    When I block it out, its lurking around the corner
    When I give in to it, it tears me apart
    Youre not here, youre never coming back
    When I close my eyes I see you
    When I lay down I hear your voice
    I try to remember every detail.. Every memory
    I want to remember everything you said and everything you did
    I want to always remember your smile
    I want to always remember how your hugs felt and how good you always smell
    I try to engrave it in my mind..
    To permanently keep you by my side

    But the harder I think, the harder I try
    The more and more I cant control the pain
    It tears me from the inside out and back again
    More than anything I don’t want to have to remember
    I want you back
    I want you by my side
    I want to hear your voice to feel you next to me
    I want to hear you scream poker face into my voicemail
    I want to see you smile
    I want you to say just kidding
    I want you to tell me everything’s going to be alright
    ?
    I cant think straight
    I cant think at all sometimes
    I cant remember the last thing I said to you
    ?
    Do you know that I love you
    Do you know how much I cherish our friendship
    Do you know that it started out as a crush
    Do you know that I will never forget you
    Do you know that my life is better because of you

    Tell me what to do
    Tell me what to feel
    Tell me what to think..
    Because my life is a spiral of chaos right now
    My heads all over the place, and nothing makes sense

    I don’t want to be here without you
    I don’t want to live without you
    Im afraid to be without you
    Without you scares me

    You’re the one
    The one I call
    The one I trust
    The one who makes me laugh
    The one who has the best stories
    The one who always has my back
    The one who drunk dials me to no end
    The one who I tell first
    The one who I could never imagine living without
    The one who has never let me down.

    but I wont say it
    You will never hear me say it
    I wont think it
    I wont even write it
    Because this is not the end
    This is just see you later
    Later just never seemed so far away.
    ?
    Forever in my heart..until we meet again.
    I love you eddie
    I love you, I love you., I love you.

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