• Why?

    by  • December 20, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Wish • 3 Comments

    I have so many questions. You may never read this, and for that I’m glad. Yes it was me, the Anonymous person who gave you that. I also am the author that wrote a letter called ‘Soul.’ I ask why, because I’m just so lost. I’ve been lost before, it took years to recover. I am lucky to even be alive. This is a different lost though. The kind that you can’t tell anyone. For the simple reason that hardly anyone has this kind of experience. It hurts in a spiritual sense, from you’re soul. I know that if you have a low self esteem then your not beautiful. This is harder to explain, usually I do have a high self esteem, but even then I wasn’t beautiful. I’d give almost anything for people, and have even thought about giving my life to save someone. I just wish for the joy, love and happiness of others. For no more pain, hurt, suffering, hate, discrimination exc. The soul is the center of our being, what lives on beyond the body. I have no idea what it means if you hurt from the inside. I have had heart pains and many other pains. I feel as though I’m a horrible person and I don’t really have a reason why. I try being strong and I promised myself I’d not cry in any public place. Normally this would be easy to accomplish, but not today. I don’t want to pitied by anyone, it’s not right to feel pity. The type of pain is indescribable, it does not feel that painful as most would believe. The only way I’d describe it is having your soul (the light inside you) start to hurt. In that moment, your heart, or rather mine starts cracking in a sense. Why did you have to be there? Why couldn’t you be on the other side of the room? I hope that you didn’t see me. I really can’t explain much, it has been hard but not that hard. It may be for one simple reason, I cried myself to sleep. Wondering why I have these feelings? Whenever I try to see them as ‘just another person.’ I manage to until, I hear their voice or remember their eyes. Why do I care so much, how can one person mean so much? Why? Even if you only talked a few times… I suppose it is that knowing deep within me that I’ve loved you forever. I can’t explain, the mind has a hard time deciphering such symbols. I did see you though, just glancing I noticed your eyes, you weren’t looking at me. Your eyes gave you away, you seemed sad. I sure hope that what I’ve read about this connection isn’t true. In that you can feel each others emotions. This is truly a blessing and a gift. Sometimes if your quiet and you listen to your heart, you will hear the other. This unexplainable happiness fill you up with such energy that you just start crying tears of joy because you know deep down inside that you love someone. You cannot deny this with any logic. It is hard being near them, you just long to tell them how you feel and resist the urge to hug them. I wish that others could feel this for themselves. “The important thing was too love rather than be loved.” – M. Somerset Maughan Regardless if you love me or not, I will always love you forever and ever for eternity.

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    3 Responses to Why?

    1. Sheila
      December 20, 2012 at 6:54 am

      Such a aa wholesome share. Thank you to the creator of this. One Blessed or the two of you are emmensly Blessed to have such a Love. 🙂
      This feeling can be earth shaddering. To feel such a whole Soul Hearted Love is to really Live Life here on earth as it has been for us as a human being! May you never lose that Love here on this earth.
      I pray that all here on earth find such a Loved one.




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    2. anonymous
      December 20, 2012 at 7:25 am

      I feel the same way about someone from long ago. I believe your soul hurts when you love someone so much, but you have no control over being with them. This first happened to me when my parent’s divorced and my father ‘had to leave’. It was a complicated situation and I don’t blame him.

      That is the first time my soul died inside. Then I found someone in college I loved and other people took it upon themselves to make us feel foolish about the way we spent time together, just because they didn’t have a strong connection with someone. I wish people would just mind their own business, the world would be a better place.

      I believed a ‘friend’ was helping me when all she was doing was trying to keep us apart. Not everyone wants other people to be happy. I still believe in the goodness of people, but all people don’t possess these qualities, and I don’t want to be around their lies anymore.

      These people are sad, but they can definitely cause serious damage. Why anyone would want to do this is beyond me! I’ll never understand, I just want those type of people ‘out’ of my life forever.




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    3. Author
      December 22, 2012 at 7:56 pm

      I told him, we aren’t friends. We arent because we rarely talk. (we aren’t acquaintances either) we run into eachother all the time by coincidence. For some reason I have a feeling, he considers me his friend. It would have been better if we’d never met.




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