You are married. It’s that simple. At first, we were simply joking around. And then something clicked. Clarity happened. Feelings happened. And yes, I let it go too far. I should have nipped it. But I’m human. And I’m sorry.
But when you asked for more than flirting, my insides twisted. Because the truth of the matter is I wanted it and I wanted you. Badly.
But I will never be the reason that rips a family apart. I don’t care what your reasons are. I don’t care what is there and not there between you and your significant other. There are two sides to every story. Actually three. Yours, theirs, and the truth. And I am well aware of what people say when they are trying to get what they want.
When I explained to you the very personal reason why I will never do anything like that, the dead look on your face let me know you’d have no remorse. When you said, “Well, I tried.” Tried to what? Ruin your life? You can’t make a joke out of people’s lives.
A flash of fire usually results in a burn. I’m not willing to be a toy. I’m not willing to be a band-aid. But most importantly, I’m not willing to hurt others and myself to make you feel something again.
If you have problems in your marriage, they are your problems. And you need to figure them out. You can ignore them and make others pay for them, which seems to be your M. O. or you can face them before others pay the price. But I’m not going to help you and I’m not going to be your confidant anymore.
If you think this is easy for me, you’d be wrong. But I’m not going to go into my personal feelings because what good will it do? It doesn’t change anything and it doesn’t make wrong right.
I’m not perfect. Not claiming to be. I messed up by letting this get too far. But it never went past a little flirting and a budding friendship. But that friendship is over. When I see you, it will be as if I don’t. There is no other way.