What? Are you kidding me I thought. My heart sank. I felt sick. Something is sitting on my chest. I can’t hear the words coming out of your mouth. I see your lips moving. I look down. The hot tears are sitting there. I look at you. Angry. Disappointed–again. “Don’t get my son anything for Christmas. Leave me alone. Leave us alone. Are you ready?” I say as I pick up my drink, take a sip and turn around to walk to your truck.
I couldn’t believe it. After six weeks of you “thinking about us” you come up with the same thing you said six weeks ago? Are you joking? Why AM I SO DISPOSABLE TO YOU?
You saw me last week on a date. Totally gave me the “you’re so freaking gorgeous.” Cried when I told you I would have taken care of you.
And the signs. Oh, the signs. And you still are unsure.
And screw your ex wife. Seriously. What a lame excuse for a mother. And what is going on with you two? I blindly trust you. Yet you hide me from her. You’ve NEVER taken a call with her in front of me. Two years ago she ruined our second date-or you allowed her to. You stood outside my house talking to her on the phone about her concerns about you dating. I should have walked then. IT WAS A SIGN OF WHAT WAS TO COME IN TWO YEARS.
I am still waiting inside while you tend to her insane madness. She threatens you with your child. She threatens to take her life. You choose to be manipulated by her. How weak. I have no priority , no place, she doesn’t even know I exist. That I am the one who keeps you going.
Stay married to her. Stay cold and calculated. “It isn’t a competition” you said. REALLY?
REALLY? Well what the fuck is it then? Because all I know is I have never earned a spot of importance in your life–to dance around her. I have never heard you tell her to get the fuck over it. She cheated on you. To stop manipulating you and that you had SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE who mattered. That her insane bs wasn’t going to stop you from being with me. Your dance around her, her hands around your balls–well that’s why you don’t feel. Don’t show up. Don’t take care of me. Don’t show me off, as I should be.
FUCK you. How dare you kiss me before we went to lunch? What the hell did you think I would say? And then your dumb ass can’t stop being sexual . Asking to see this and that? Fuck you. I already feel like I was a piece of ass you dumb fuck. I am so sick of your emotionally immaturity.
Grow up. Get some balls. Tell that crazy bitch to be a mother and to stop threatening you with her life for three years. SHE CHEATED ON YOU. Tell her to stop fucking hitting on you. YOU HAVE A PARTNER.
Oh that’s right. . . you don’t. You HAD a dirty secret. I am better than that.
Thanks for making me feel so “amazing, special and important.” This January, don’t show up with empty promises. I don’t need them. I don’t want to hear them. I DON’T TRUST YOU.
And to the ex, freaking get a life. You are a sorry mother. Using your child as a pawn. Lame, TC. I also saw a picture of you. YOU ARE AN UGLY BITCH. Fucking 80s hair. No sense of style. You look like you lack any feminine qualities.