You will never read this. At times I think how stupid is that! But for now it’s best this way. I get my deepest feelings for you off my chest here. Yes I should tell you face to face yet the risk is one I am not ready to take. I won’t take it because to loose you is to loose part of me. Yes the saying goes people come in and out of lives at the will of the Universe. Yes to a certain extent. I will not risk the loss. I am more than sure you are on the same page with me. You are the Bestest Friend anybody could have. When i was going through kemo for the tumor removed from my brain you took me to every doctors appt. When i went to the hospital you sat either beside my bed or right outside door to make sure I didn’t feel to alone. I am forever grateful for that. Now that we thought I was coming outta remission you held me through it all no questions ask. Do you understand what that feels like. It feels divine especially that it is you.
After my appt. we went back to your office. I love it there. Being in undercover security is quite a different job. I like watching at work with your cases. Yes I shouldn’t be there while you work but you trust me and take a very high risk with me there. Thank you for your trust. That’s not easy with what life has given you.
Remember how we made fun of my friend VEDO? In a good way. Well I wish we could go there again. I see here alot and want to tell you but it’s one of those fear things. I would hate for you to get angry at me for bringing her up and all the places i see her. Would you get angry or would you confide that trust with me once more. I know we never brought it up again because that’s when my brain tumor was discovered. Well I know we could go there now because I not as vulnerable for relapse. I know as I have been told there is lots and lots of Great things ahead of us. For us together. Once we both get over our fear of you losing your job in undercover security. O well just give me a sign in person. If i don’t get it with a couple clues throw your guide book at me. So i get it. You Robbr with me being blonde and all.
If only I knew you read my letters I’d be the happiest woman alive