i’m trying not to be one of those people who’s seemingly in a constant state of existential crisis. i just get so overwhelmed by everything that there are times i feel like crying. and sometimes i do cry. nobody knows why we’re here, nobody knows how we got to be here, nobody really knows where here is (if they say otherwise then they’re lying).
i’m listening to the oldest piece of music known on this planet. it was written over three thousand years ago. to honor a goddess. and i just don’t understand how we’ve been able to survive without going crazy, over the millenia. maybe it is religion that’s kept us in contact with some degree of reality. or, rather, maybe it’s spirituality. just having faith that there’s something out there that gives the tiniest bit of a shit about us.
i’m an atheist. there’s no evidence of any type of god. there’s no way to prove or disprove it. there’s only faith. and i think it was nietzche who said that the easiest way to show that faith means nothing is to walk through a mental hospital. i side with science.
because what kind of deity, or even just a creator, would plant us on this rock and let us stumble around for millions of years, left to our own devices? we can be great, of course. we are the people who built the pyramids, explored all of our land, and who figured out that we’re on a rock that, along with a bunch of other rocks, circles a giant fireball. and that there are billions of other fireballs, and maybe they all have rocks around them too. we’ve gone into space, continue to look farther from home and into the past. we’ve harnessed electricity, found ways to cure the maladies that once devastated whole populations. we’ve written books, made music, made the internet. we’re also horrible. we start wars, we commit genocide, we ignore those in need, we can be ruthless. we are children who sometimes think our imaginary friends are real and on our side.
but for all we’ve accomplished, whether through ingenuity or destruction, we did all of it alone. we are neglected geniuses, visionaries, healers, murderers.
surely we cannot be alone. i just wish we knew.