• All the Memories

    by  • December 5, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 1 Comment

    I just… I don’t know what to say. The only way I can keep from expressing my astonishment of seeing your pictures again is by writing this letter. I can’t tell our old friends. I can’t tell you.

    It terrifies me, the feeling I got when I saw it. I mean, I know it’s Facebook and all, but I never expected to see you again. Period. That was the end of it. Especially the way things went last time we talked. I remember the, “I’m done,” distinctly. You know, the one you actually meant that time. I mean, it’s for the best I assume. But I hate myself for sitting here thinking this same bullshit all over again. I wanted to put a package of gummy dinosaurs outside your door so you would see it and know it was from me, but what would I be doing? Enticing the very thing I’ve spent so long staying away from. It’s been like hell trying to keep away from you, but I’ve finally reached the point where I was okay. Then BAM. There it is. Your picture. Your name. Your memories…

    I can’t help but to think of all the times we had. Of all the things I did to push you away. Of all the things I should’ve done instead. I honestly blamed you entirely, but I was such an ass. You didn’t deserve to be treated this way. I just can’t do this all over again…
    I’m happy now, with my girlfriend. We’re happy again. She’s almost forgotten everything that ever happened between you and me; now that you’re gone I mean. But I haven’t. It hurts you know. Every time I pull up to the intersection I used to take to your house; every time I hear the song, “Must’ve Done Something Right,” come on the radio in my car (not to mention the one you wrote for me); every time I see one of your pictures; every time I see one of our old friends. Every single time the memories come rushing back to me like a flood breaking through a damn that’s held them repressed for so long.

    I don’t know why I’m even writing this. I guess for the reason that it’s the only place I can actually say it without actually saying it. I miss you. The thing is, I would never tell anyone in fear of what might happen. It’s just not what was meant to be. It ended, and I’ve done my best to forget it… to forget you. It’s just never happened the way I hoped it would I guess. If only you knew… Maybe one day. One day. But until then, I miss you my dear. I miss you.

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    One Response to All the Memories

    1. J
      December 5, 2012 at 11:45 am

      All the little hints In this letter make me think of someone I knew a long time ago. We both kept screwing it up, and the last chance I had, I was too stubborn to admit I still needed him. I miss you babe, come back to me, we’ll make it work this time.



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