I can say your name, I doubt you’ll ever read this.
The guy afraid of showing his feelings. The guy who couldn’t even tell his family he loves them. The guy who believes that showing feelings makes you weak & vulnerable to getting hurt.
But you told me. The one girl you’ve ever had the courage to admit your feelings to. But it was too late. You’re in prison now for 6 years. 6 years. That’s a long time.
You’ll probably have forgotten me by then. Or maybe you won’t, but you won’t know if I have the same number so you won’t message me, just in case. I’ll never change my number. I hope you realise this. Even if I’m married, have kids, I want to hear from you. To know you haven’t forgotten. To know you still care.
I wish you could’ve told me sooner. Sooner than 2 weeks before you went to prison. Maybe if you’d told me when you first realised you had feelings, you wouldn’t have been out that night. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten angry. Maybe you wouldn’t have beaten that guy to the point that he wasn’t moving. Just maybe. And maybe we could’ve worked. We could’ve tried, at least.
But now I’m scared we’ll never know. I’m scared we’ll never talk again. I wish you knew how much I miss you. I wish you’d told me where you went to prison. I wish you’d try and contact me, ask me to visit.
I just miss you. So much.