• S.D.S. The music man.

    by  • December 1, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Forgiveness, To You • 0 Comments

    4 Years I dedicated to you. 4 years in which I gave you my all, promised my heart, my words, my soul. The naive soul in me truly believed that we would exist for all time. You were my first love. I gave myself to you for the first and only time of mine; it was your first time too. The musician in you is the only thing that keeps you alive; that keeps you from exploding in your anger. What are you so angry for? Don’t you ever lose faith in that. It’s what makes you; It’s melody that your heart speaks to your body.You live through your music. I remember supporting you in everything you believed in.Attended every single show; while you went to but one of mine. I looked past it. Looked past you missing my birthday because I knew how important your music is to you. I remember when we first met. You were my first slow dance and you were a complete stranger. We danced to “More tham words” and it remained our song through all our years. It still brings back the breath of you.I believed in you, wrote stories of you. When you were homeless, I’d sneak you food in the middle of the night, Do you remember all those days I ditched school so that you wouldn’t have to be alone. You never thanked me for all that I did. I never asked you to, because I realise now that thanking comes from the heart.

    We ended in a downward spiral, our whole relationship was a vomit inticing track that I have only gained knowledge from. So I thank you for this. “What do you want from me?” Those were the last words you spoke to me. I’ve been thinking all these years, I never got closure. All your truths were drenched in lies and I only found out once we ended. They saved me from your wrathe. If only you could see how beautiful of a being I have blosssomed into.I do not lie, ever. I am faithful. I live my life for me. I am content with my life; for the very first time. I live to be pure.You told me you knew that you broke me, I know that you cheated, I know that it was many times. And I never suspected anything. Ever since the end of you I have had this Writer’s block. All my thoughts are jammed inside and I cannot spit them out, It kills me. I do not want to be with you. Ever again. I just wanted closure. I want to know that you’re alright, But I will not speak with you. I want you to know that I never knew who I was; I only knew who I was with you. Not the person I was born to be on my own. I feel that my past fucked up the logic in me, But I forgive it. I forgive everything and I am thankful for every event has led me here. To my present. To my understanding, My blooming. My wanting to be alive. I want you to know that I love you still to this day for all that you have taught me, and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for helping me mature, Stanley. For always taking care of me. I wish things would have ended differently, But if they did I would not be where I have. I would not have grown. I am in love, and this time I am treated right. I am appreciated and listened to. And he wouldn’t ever hurt me. I finally am living.

    -Somebody that you used to know.

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