I put my entire life on hold for two years and counting for you. I don’t regret it… but I am just so tired. Can’t I just be happy now? Can’t I just have the life I have been waiting for for so long? And will I ever get it? I’m worried about that. Your two years in the Army has changed you in certain ways, and it has definitely caused us to grow apart. There is no doubt in my mind that I love you with all of my heart, but I also fell in love with a different version of you. You’ve stopped telling me things like you used to. You’ve become closed off again like before we dated. Is this because we’re not together? Will it be fixed when we are? I tried so hard for so long to get you to open up to me. Am I going to have to do that all over? Because I deserve someone who puts in as much effort to this relationship as I do. And maybe you do, but from this prospective it doesn’t feel like it. It’s so hard for you to show your feelings…. and I understand that… But sometimes I NEED you to show them to me. We are literally a world apart and our marriage is hanging on memories of happiness because that is all my heart has to go on.
I haven’t sang in two years. I’ve been singing since I was 5 and I haven’t gotten to in two years because I am stuck in this shit town waiting for a man who makes me so uncertain.
Why would you start smoking cigars and not tell me?
You don’t tell me anything anymore.
How do expect this marriage to work if you don’t talk to me?
I just want you to take me seriously and act like the grown man I want you to be.