• So so selfish.

    by  • November 26, 2012 • Friends • 0 Comments

    Dear “BFF”
    You piss me off. You really do. We’re supposed to be “friends” or whatever. We have been friends since 8th grade supposedly. I don’t think I’ve ever liked you, really. We have nothing in common. I like to discuss ideas and fantasies and inspiration and the world. You like to discuss only one thing: Yourself.
    That and people who pertain to Yourself.
    Your Highness
    Your Royal Shallowness
    Ugh.
    I can’t tell you any of this. I’m not a mean person, and I would hate to hurt your feelings, but you don’t care. You’re stupid and reckless and don’t give a shit. You’re incapable of empathy, sympathy, or even listening. In return, I don’t care at all when you blab on for hours about yourself. I try to non-verbally communicate this to you with blunt replies, unemotional responses, and “Uh-huhs.” “Oh.” “Yup.”
    SHUT UP!
    DO YOU EVER SHUT THE FUCK UP?!?
    EVER????
    Talk about the weather, the president, religion, the trees, grass, a car, music, plays—–ANYTHING but yourself!!!! You don’t get it! You’re an annoying, naive, BORING person! I stuck around so long just to see if there was another person under there! BUT NO!
    And the thing is I don’t need you. I never voluntarily hang out with you unless there are other people, and I never follow you. I don’t need you. I don’t need your friendship, but obviously you need me cuz who else would listen so “raptly” to the Life of Ali??? The sad thing is I care, but you don’t. You can’t take a hint. You’re messy, irresponsible and plain. You complain about other people non-stop. You’re a gossipwhore. Ew. You’re a mooch. You take everyone else’s food, time, clothes, and is anyone else allowed to have anything of yours? NO. Cuz you’re an inconsiderate, only child. I cannot stand you!!!! But I would never say any of this to you. Because THAT would be inconsiderate.
    – <3 your BFF Walten

    Related Post

    Leave a Reply