This is terrible.
I’m so worried about you. Not communicating with you is killing me. I need to know how you are, what is happening, your next steps. You’re not at work today and that is making me even more worried. I don’t know what is going on with your life and it makes me nervous and confused.
I’m worried you are alone. I’m worried you have no one to talk to. I’m worried for both of us. We never had a chance to talk and I don’t know if we ever will. The subject line of this letter are the last words you said to me outside of goodbye.
I think you attempted to access the journal I made for us. I checked the email I made for it and saw that it had attempted to be reactivated. I reactivated it but deleted what I wrote. I’m not sure if its safe.
Please please please find some way to tell me how you are? I need to know if you’re okay. As your best friend, not knowing what is going is hindering my every thought and move.
I think you possibly wrote me a letter on here. I’m not sure at all, but I hope it was you. If you check this and somehow see this letter, please know that I can’t stop thinking about your well being. I’m so incredibly worried about you.
Your silence to my text yesterday officially made it clear that you have put up your brick wall and that you cannot handle me in your life. I told you that would be unrepairable for us, nothing would ever be the same again. I still feel that way. I feel so terribly hurt and angry that you are shutting me out but I know I’m being foolish. I know its unjustified because you have so much to lose if we continue to talk. I think the anger is just my way of masking the grief I feel at losing you and fucking up your life.
I told you I wouldn’t talk to you and I do mean to uphold that. I just really really really need to know if you are okay before I stop. I can’t live with the uncertainty of your well being.
Please find a way?