That’s the taste that sticks on my lips these days, like you used to. It’s funny because I reckon you both taste alike. I will forget 20, like I forgot sixteen, and ten and four.
I won’t, however, forget the taste of you on my lips. You will always be the definition of love and happiness in my book, right next to my favorite marvin song. But it’s also funny, rather in this satirical, hedonistic sense, that I’ve got to find that love in disguise, a whole different look you see. I won’t see him coming, I know that. But knowing that just reinstates the idea that I must stop seeing you, even if it’s just in the back of my mind, to see him at all.
In a few hours i’ll be a year older, apparently a year wiser, although I always feel like I’m growing backwards with time. I don’t want you to feel any regret for being with her. I hold no resentment towards you, her, or your feelings for her. I honestly believe life led you back to her for a reason, just like it lead me here too. It led me to a teaching job, new friends, undiscovered talent and passion. More than anything, it led me back to me, like i hope shes helped lead you back to you. It’s rather hard to imagine a year ago, but a year later I feel happy knowing you found someone who can make you feel that way again. Makes me think I can too.

As for now nothing’s changed, i’ll listen to coltrane while I walk to my 8 am in the morning. I’ll walk past the apartments where my parents met. I’ll get there early to get a good cup of coffee. But as for this year, I can only imagine what life has in store for me, and for the first time in a long time I can’t wait to open that door.
-M.