I’ve been holding this feeling for a long time now,and I don’t think I can leave this town without telling you how I feel. Every inch of me, and every fiber of my being want you and only you. Every moment I spend with you feels like a moment that I replay continuously, and its driving me crazy.
I love when we talk on the phone, and then there is this awkward silence thing that you do. And how by the end of our conversation, I know that you are feeling how I am feeling. That you just want to talk to me like that forever. But you never say it. I want you Brandon, and I mean it. But I know that no matter how many calls, and emails and visits I make, I cant have you.
That day in your office, when you leaned in to kiss me, I regret turning my cheek, and the day you told me that when you saw me again, you would give me the most passionate kiss ever, I about dropped everything I was doing to see you Brandon. But I just couldn’t bring myself to you that day. I just knew that it wouldn’t right.
Some days when I am all alone in the city, I think about you. I think about what could have happened between us. I think about how I let years go by holding on to these feelings about you, and how I am too afraid to look you in the eyes and tell you, that I want you right now. I see you in my future, but the time is not right….because you are a married man and I don’t want to be the other woman.
So I am going to hide how I feel about you, and just let things be, because that’s all I can do is think about how much I want you, but I can’t act on it. Because I know in hindsight, that’s not what you would want.