You need to move on
by admin • October 14, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Moving On • 4 Comments
I am posting this to everyone who is having trouble moving on.
No matter how hard it is, you’re going to have to move on from
whatever is dragging you down.
Maybe it’s your family, a bad relationship, a bad job, whatever…
Just make a small step in a different direction. If you feel you
really need to have a heart to heart with someone, then do it.
But that doesn’t mean they are going to respond the way you want
even if you really, really, want things to be different.
I have a friend, we both had bad relationships, I moved on married, had kids, she dwelled on it to the point she started taking drugs, quit her career, her life is a mess. Maybe I was a little callous in cutting my ex-boyfriend out of my life, but at least now I have a life where he isn’t there to make me feel bad about myself, she is holding on to hope that some day it will work out for them. We’re talking 10-years. She is a really great person, but she never let go, so she didn’t make room for anyone else.
Please, have your talk, but then let go, move on, build a life you can
be proud of. Everyone deserves to be loved. Maybe by moving on you’ll show this person what they were missing, maybe you’ll even forget about them, just make some time for yourself to be happy. Please it breaks my heart to see someone with so much going for her, throwing her life away for someone who treated her so badly. In time you’ll forget his name…
Made me cry
You are so right… Thank you for posting this. I have been wwith the same guy on and off for over four years. We love each other, but he battles demons I can’t fight. He chose them over me. He did me the biggest favor of my life.
The kind of love we shared was earth-shattering, soul-shaking… The kind of love people make movies about. But that is why they are only movies. The best kind of love, the kind of love that lasts for ever, is stable and kind… And even, dare I say it, boring. It is the kind of love that is predictable and dependable. I am just glad I realized it before it was too late.
I was always scared that he would leave, when I should have been scared I would never leave him. I know enough now, and value myself enough, to know that love like the kind we shared can never be felt by only one person. He will come back over and over again- as long as I let him. However, his return does not mean he has conquered his demons, only that he has missed me.
I would give anything for strong and stable now. And I know I will find it.
You are definitely right. One should move on. But how? How can one move on? I am definitely having troubles moving on. My letter is just two posts below this (“Dear Ary”).
Honestly it isn’t easy, but what I’ve learned over the past year is that if you are in a situation that
is making you act out of character. Angry outburts, self-loathing, low-self esteem you are probably
in a codependent relationship.
It doesn’t mean you need to leave the person you are with, but it means you need to change
your relationship with that person. Put yourself first, do things for yourself.
Move on can mean leaving a situation or it could mean just not putting up with bad behavior
anymore, you need to set boundaries. Hope this helps.