You are not available. It sickens me. I tried to move on, I did. I’ve dated, had relationships and flings over the years. For as much as you were a pushy and agressive, you did something to me that no one else did. It was truly love at first sight. Seems ridiculous to you that I would feel that way now, let alone, back then. You said I deserved someone that treated me better and you wish that you did. Are you placating me or do you look back and think you mis-stepped in letting me go? Or is it that you regret ever touching me? I’ve accepted that I won’t feel that kind attraction ever again. The lust that I felt for you, caught me off guard. I never understood that “at first sight” stuff until you. My heart literally raced when I looked at you. I remember you leaning back so that I would have to move in closer, almost up against you just to talk to you. I walked away from you that night and yet you pursued me. I remember our first kiss and when we made love. I miss kissing you, even now. It’s delusional, that I’d feel tethered to a memory of someone that I cannot have. I want you here in my bed, holding me, loving me, fucking me. No matter how many unsent letters that I cobble together, no matter your life situation, these feelings won’t change. Hopefully I’ll get sick of myself and get distracted and forget about you (again). Hopefully, but I don’t want to and it may be the reason you had to placate me. I wish we had the chance for you to prove me wrong. *sigh* Reality tells me it’s another fantasy and will likely stay that way.