I know I shouldn’t but…

Every time I see you I get butterflies in my stomach.
I think about you literally all the time.
I am constantly hoping I’ll run into you.
When I think of you with another girl, I want to punch her in the face.
I miss you so much more than I thought I would.
I don’t miss your snoring, but I do miss your smell and sleeping next to you.
I miss being able to run my fingers through your amazing hair.
Whenever I see one of your close friends, all I want to talk about is you.
I still think back to our Disney moment last year, and smile ear to ear.
I miss your patience, your kindness, and your understanding.

I couldn’t figure out why I kept having these feelings, as they caught me quite by surprise when I saw you for the first time this year. It was harder than you could imagine for me not to text you that night, telling you I missed you. Then I realized, you were the one who left me. I didn’t really have a say in the matter, and neither did my heart. I liked you for a reason, and chose you over the guy I am with now for a reason. I am so sorry that you have to see us together, even though it is what you deserve and brought upon yourself. You weren’t ready for a real relationship (even though that is exactly what you asked for), but there is nothing I will ever be able to do about that. I think we didn’t work because you weren’t ready, and that’s okay, everything happens for a reason. I sincerely hope we can try again someday, and despite all of the hiccups here and there, we definitely had something special.

Maybe if we were friends this could all be easier…for me anyway. But when I found out you actually still cared, my world turned upside down. I hope you never stop, because I know I never will.

Takin’ it one day at a time,
Beaker