I’m tired of the selfishness, disrespect, and double standards, yet still feel the need to stay and I don’t understand why…
Don’t tell me you’re my friend if it’s always me being there for you and you never being there for me. Don’t tell me you miss me if the reason we haven’t talked is because you ignore me. Don’t tell me you’re always happy to listen when I need someone to talk to if you don’t ever answer my phone calls. I’m tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt only to have my feelings compromised in the end.
I’m so sorry my honesty fucking inconveniences you. So, so sorry I forgot that your feelings matter and mine don’t. I’m so fucking sorry I forgot the world revolves around you and your remedial “being so cool makes life so hard” problems. I’m so fucking sorry I dragged you into the terrible misfortune of having a “friend”ship with me.
Oh, and I’m REALLY sorry I forgot you only keep me around so you can use me to feel better about yourself when you’re self-loathing and lonely. Man, I always forget that one.
So I guess I SHOULDN’T expect that phone call tomorrow morning or night (even if things were left on a good note, it’s usually a 50/50 chance you’d actually follow through with your commitments to me anyway). And I guess I SHOULD expect a sarcastic Facebook status update shaming females for expressing themselves outright to you and how you’d rather suck a body pillow’s dick than listen to that bull shit.
You want to “wifey me up,” but you couldn’t even be bothered to respond to ONE text message I sent in hopes you’d be there when I really needed someone? Even if it’s just to let me know you can’t or don’t want to talk, which takes all of 5 seconds. Then you get upset and make ME feel guilty when all I did was tell you I wish you’d respond? Get a clue, babe. This is real life. This isn’t some reality show called “Everyone Must Adhere to The Way ~*R*~ Feels at This Moment in Time.” People are real. I am real. The things you do and say have an affect on me whether you want them to or not.
You swear you’re this sweet, innocent guy that would never cause harm or anguish to anyone while everyone and everything else including life itself just shits on you and rains on your parade all day every day. Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely believe that you are and will forever be a sweet, passionate, consciously-do-no-harm man, but why don’t you stop and take a look at how you, intentionally or not, make OTHER people feel? And once you realize it, instead of feeling guilty and sulking about it, why don’t you try to make it better? Why don’t you try to actually GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL? Why are you incapable of this?
If you expect me to constantly sit tight-lipped about the way I feel so as to not disturb you or add injury to your already bruised bubble, please remove me from your life post-haste. And no, I will not do it for you. You make that call. I’m sure it will be quite easy for you seeing as you’ve readily done it to others before.
I am putting everything on the table as bluntly as possible for you so we can avoid any miscommunication, confusion, or passive-aggressiveness and you can fairly weigh out the options you have with as my “friend.” I am not asking for much… I am asking for you to be a true friend to me, to care, and to be compassionate. I am asking for the same courtesy and decency I give to you – things I know you are appreciative of. I am asking for equality.
I also ask that you are TRULY fair about this when considering everything I’ve told you just now and anything I’ve ever told you before. Remember I have been very honest about how I feel about everything, including you, from the get. Remember I feel like our schtick is magical. Remember I like you very much inside and out, platonically and otherwise. Remember I am only human – just like you – and I deserve to be treated as one…
Man… I can’t believe I actually just wrote this thinking you might give a shit. The fuck is wrong with me?