I am so happy to end the silence between us after sooo long. I have missed you more than I could explain. The distance between our realities helped often the blow. I have master the skill out of sight, out of mind. I took you off my Facebook spool and stopped stalking yours. I threw myself into realtionships, occupying every corner of my mind. When I would think about you, wonder how your life was I would find something anything else to do. I have loved you, cared for you, dream of you since I was 13. I dare not say these things to you now, I could not risk losing you again. I have grown a lot if these two years. I am becoming a woman I hope my future kids would be proud of. In this growth I have found, I was selfish and mean as a teenager. I did not have the capacity to offer the same support I depended on you for. As I told you, for this I am truly sorry. I am striving to be a better friend to you and everyone else. I am rebuilding my ruins my life was in. You are an important person, you alwasy have been. I do not fear being angry with you as I once did. I do not fear being alone. I love you like I have never loved another. I do not dream of a one day. I have accept we are what we are and we will never be more. As long as I have you in my life, I am okay with that.
Given our fucked up history I wonder how we managed to stay friends. I told you that your meant a lot to me and got a response you too, we go waaay back. What does that even mean?