I am so stressed out right now. I can’t talk to my best friend or she will get all up in my face about my decisions. I can’t talk about it to my boy friend, or he will begin worrying about my commitments.

I’m moving in with my boy friend and his mother in two days. I’m 20 years old, and am in a long distance moving to a very close relationship. I’m happy I’m going to be with him each and every day, I just fear the opinions of my family members. And his. I also fear that I am too old

I haven’t gone to college yet, but am in the future. I want to be a vet, or work with animals in any way. I love animals. Anyway, when I get there I’m going to get myself a job. We’re going to begin saving up for our move to Colorado.

I guess I’m just fearful of growing up. I’m afraid I’m going to screw up. Maybe it’s my boy friend’s unconfidence that gets to me. When his Dad yells at him for not trying, he gets so depressed and I do too. I hate being discouraged, so I can understand how he feels.

My boy friend is going to gun smith school, that’s what he wants to be. He’s currently doing small jobs working on the houses his mom is selling. He is trying, but I am hoping he finds himself a full time job he doesn’t have to reply on his mom for.

Maybe I’m too pushy. I mean all I’ve ever been is a barista at a bagel shop. I did work there for 3 years, but it wasn’t much of an experience. I did learn a lot, though. I’m excited to get a new job in NJ, I just don’t want to be discouraged anymore.

But that’s the root problem, my confidence. If I was more confident and didn’t react the way I do to criticism, i’d be able to take on life better. I’m wondering what could help my confidence.. Surely better friends. Recently my best friend and I have grown apart… mainly because of my move. My best friend believes I shouldn’t be with my boy friend and that I need to be on my own.

I’m hoping that my move goes fine. Nothing bad can happen, really. And all this stress is only giving me acne… ugh. I hate the way my body works. I really need to stop worrying about what other people think, and live my own life. I really need to gain confidence. A hobby… I don’t know. I need an output for stress, and a input for confidence. *sigh*