Oh R, how quickly my thoughts turn to you in the middle of the night or during my few quiet times. I’m doing my best to stay centered in reality. You are with someone. We never talk beyond the surface. So why can’t I stop myself? I’m tired, figuratively and literally. I want something – anything – to happen, but I know that if I make the first move, then all is lost. You need to want me and to show it. As that’s not happening, I have to realize that this is purely fantasy on my part.