• To you

    by  • September 11, 2012 • To You • 0 Comments

    Dear ex,

    When i first met you , you never said anything to me. But that night you called me, saying my friend’s boyfriend gave you my number. I guess i met you by chance, all the way in a and far strange country. I found out i was going to be staying there for a year, i was mad and betrayed by family. I didn’t want to be there, i wanted to finish school and head off to university. My only answer was to start to drinking and smoke weed heavily. You started to talk to me, and the first time we actually chill alone, i act like a hoe, gave you head because i never done it before. three weeks went by and we chilled smoked weed and i lost my virginity to you that night, without a care in the world. We both knew in our culture , that once a girl loses her virginity unmarried, she ruined forever. But i didn’t give fuck than, i just wanted to live my life like a rebel. After that we started to date, and every time we chilled we would have sex in random places. I guess i let you treat me like a whore, so when one day you told me you doubted i was a virgin, i shouldn’t have been surprised. But it hurt me to the core, i never felt so ashamed in my life. But i still continued to date you, until one day you disappeared for like 3 months with no phone calls or anything. At this point i liked you. So when you came back it was easy for to just waltz back in to my life. We kept on doing our thing, until the year was up and it was my time to go back home. We didn’t talk for a month, but i was okay with that. Until one day you called me and said you wanted to do long distance and you wanted to marry me, we kept on talking for 3 months straight until you felt that it was enough. you stopped picking up my phone calls, you ignored all my messages and had me broken hearted. Another 2 months went by, and you called me, i was shocked but i was rude to you, somehow you came back into my life. You came to see me, we went on a beautiful trip together, and than i came home, my parents found out and was threatened to kick me out. I didn’t care what they did to me, as long as i knew i had you, we planned to get married you gave me the ring and everything. We agreed we would smoke or drink or party. promised we would change for the better. but that came all crashing down when you i called you late night and i heard you drunk at a party, I never felt betrayed like before, i was mad, i felt like you let me down and you were just playing for a fool. so broke up with you, i didn’t want anything to do with you. you kept on messaging me once in while, tryna get back with me. i started to date a new guy, he was refreshing, he helped me become a person who i never thought i’d be SUCCESSFUL but i couldn’t come to love him, the way i loved you. you were my first everything and i just couldn’t walk away from it, but i knew if i took you back, you would destroy everything i build hard to be. So i kept on ignoring. This has been continuing one for the last 4 years of my life. I heard throughout the grapevine that you got married today, and i don’t know how to react, what was it that made you settle with her. WHY couldn’t be normal, why did you have to hurt me so much, that i don’t trust no guy. I’m constantly talking to new men everyday because of you. YOU RUINED everything for me. I guess I’ll never get over you I guess I’ll never get the closure that i need from you because i really don’t know how to escape it. FUCK you

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