I’m sorry we fought last night. I’m sorry I just wouldn’t let it go. I’m sorry that I yelled and blamed it all on you. But then again, I’m not sorry that I let it all out. It’s about time you found out how I was feeling. About how, if we ever end a conversation on a sour note and you say an uncomfortable goodnight, I end up staying up for hours trying to figure out where I went wrong and blaming it all on myself. I was tired of that. So last night, finally, I wouldn’t let you go to bed mad. I just wouldn’t let it go. I wanted answers. And I got them. You don’t have time for me. I will always be trumped by work or family or other friends. And that is fine. But I really wish you would have told me sooner. Telling me could’ve saved me two weeks of crying myself to sleep at night. But instead, you decided to ignore me.do you know how much it hurts to think that you don’t just dislike me, you’re indifferent to me? You don’t even care enough to have any kind of feelings at all. It’s gotten to the point where you’re indifferent to how I feel. That really hurts. I want to know what you’re the thinking. I’m sitting here lying in bed the morning after our fight. I’m waiting for your name to pop up on my phone. I’m waiting for you to say sorry and that you don’t really want to lose me. But at the same time I know that won’t happen. You never apologize first. But this time I’m gonna stand my ground. Even if that means we never talk. I’ll be waiting forever, Big Spoon, to hear that you do care. So if one day, maybe 10 years from now, you think back and wonder if I even remember you, shoot a call my way and maybe I can get the closure that I’m looking for. I’m still waiting.
Love always and forever, Annabelle