I think about you from time to time.
I’ll never understand it. How can two people like us not work out?
You picked up and left me. Without a word. Without a single inclination that it was over.
Remember the night we met? I was meeting her new boyfriend for the first time and you were his best friend. You picked me up, spun me around and asked me to dance. One dance in you whispered to me, you’re the girl I’m going to marry. You got down on one knee and began loudly proposing. I didn’t even know your name. Boy, did I think you were weird, perhaps mentally insane.
As things went on, we ran into each other more and more. We got along so well together. When I finally let you in, I hit the ground running. I was so in love. It happened so fast. I loved the noises you’d make in the car when you were driving. I loved your bizarre sense of style. I loved your crazy hair. I loved you mom. I loved vacationing with you. I loved the cottage with you. I loved studying with you. I loved helping you mark papers. I loved your rifle and trying to use it. I loved your taste in music. I loved that we could go out and be the life of the party together. I loved that we could stay in and watch movie marathons.
I loved your family; tea with your grandmother, vodka martini’s with your mom, even life chats with your dad. I loved double dating with your brother and his girlfriend.
Do you remember the last time we were together? We were at dinner and you said “I’m in love with you. I’m absolutely crazy about you”
The next morning, that was it. I got a phone call and all you said was “I’m sorry. I need space.”
I gave you your space. That was it. I hit the ground harder than I’ve ever hit it. I spent so many nights crying trying to figure out what I did wrong, why you changed, why I wasn’t good enough for you. I begged you for an explanation. You gave me nothing. You made me shell of a person. I felt empty. Dead. Gone. Lost. Nothing.
I hate you for it. I’m finally happy. AND NOW IM TERRIFIED TO LET HIM IN. All I think about is you. And I can’t let him in because I’m scared he’ll pick up and leave me just like you did.
He’s everything you’re not, and I still think about you.