I saw you the other day. On a subway car. The “underground”, they call it here. You looked up, smiled, and that’s how I knew I wasn’t over you yet. Because even as a stranger, you can still break my heart. You got off at the next stop, and I went back to looking at my feet, the shoes I wore the last day I saw you.
I saw you again, sitting in the lecture hall. I could have sworn it was you this time, because your red hair was tied up the same way. I saw the side of your head, and I remembered pushing hair away from your face. All I wanted to do was kiss you. All I wanted was to feel you there. It kills me every day to know that we don’t have each other anymore. I try to make this abroad experience my way of getting over you, but the distractions aren’t enough. No amount of smiles by girls will fix the fact that it’s not you. I miss you. I’ll never admit that to you. I’ll never say that I still love you. Because I do. I want you here with me, because you’re the only thing that makes me feel any amount of comfort.
But i’m too weak to go back and say any of this to you. Because no doubt you know by now that I didn’t deserve you.
but I still see you everywhere.