I don’t know what it is about me. I’ve never had that special someone. I’ve never even had a guy like me. Or even consider me a human being. I’ve learned to avoid relationships & men. I don’t trust them. I’m scared of them. I wish I could say I had that one person who treated me special & who loved me for me. I lay awake at night imagining what that would be like. What it would be like to be in love with a guy who was your best friend & treated you like his world. I wonder if that’s even possible for me. I wonder if it’s even possible for anyone to stay together & in love. Everywhere I look I see divorce & heartbreak. The one person who vowed to love you forever no longer does. I was always taught that marriage & love lasts for eternity. But from what I’ve seen, it rarely does. And that breaks my heart. It destroys any hope that I’ll be loved. I still don’t know if my parents will remain together. How much longer until another fight & plans to split? How much longer until one word destroys an entire life together? I tell myself I don’t care. But I do. I don’t have faith in relationships or happily ever afters. I’m left feeling empty & lonely, worthless & unlovable.