i keep saying i need to save myself. there’s nobody else that can save me except for me. but i don’t know how true that is. i want to save myself. i need to drag myself out of this miserable life and state i live in. i live in a place where i wake up sad and go to bed depressed. i haven’t cut in 4 months but that doesn’t mean i haven’t wanted to almost every day since the last time. all i can think about is ryan. ryan. why ryan. it’s been over a year since i’ve seen my ryan. why is he on my mind. i don’t want to think about him ever. never ever ever. he broke me. i almost died because of him. then to kevin. almost died cause of him too. maybe i should just die. but no. i have to save myself. what’s left to save? why do i stay alive. i hate where i live, i hate my friends, i hate my school, i hate america. take me to a place where people love me. i need to learn to love and be loved. take me to a place where i can be at peace with myself. hahahah…it’s funny cause God knows it’ll never happen. save me from myself.

save me, at least what’s left to save.