My Darling,

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have helped me to heal and forget my depression, you showed me how to trust, you led me back to God, and you make me feel beautiful.

I know you must have a broken heart because of what I did. You never show it though. Day after day you insist that you aren’t angry and you understand why I left you. You haven’t once begged me to come back or made me feel guilty for leaving. You still talk to me everyday and reassure me that you love me and will wait for me.

The worst part of this is I know you need me and now it is even harder for you to open up to me. I still hate myself for misunderstanding and walking away when you poured your heart out to me. How could I have been so angry that you didn’t want to give yourself to me, when I was running away from you as well?

I miss you. I miss you more than I had prepared myself too. I feel like I left my heart behind as well. I came to help them, but I am starting to despise them because they took me away from you. I need you. You are the one thing that has kept me together all these years. I’m counting down the days until I can be with you again.

Thank you for being strong for me. Thank you for loving me even when I make it so hard to love at all. I swear I will be wholly yours when this is all over, if you’ll still have me. Don’t leave me baby, I’m so sorry that I left you. I love you with my whole heart.

The next four years without you by my side will be the hardest years of my life. Hopefully the next fifty will make this all worth it though.

I love you, and that will never fade away. I hope you will forgive me.