I’m just thinking about the first time we ever hung out, at the Red Sox game. You told me you would love to come which was the best thing you could’ve said because I was so nervous to ask you. I didn’t think you would ever want to spend time with someone like me. I was so scared that it was going to be awkward, I fear those situations more than anything. Of course, it was awkward. I’m an awkward person and I didn’t know you were, but you kind of are. You were so quiet, I didn’t know if you were enjoying yourself at all and I was stressed out about that. The whole game was kind of weird, but then it started raining. We were outside in the stadium and it was a terrible thunderstorm. I looked scared and you asked me if I was okay. I wanted you to make me feel better, but I said that I was fine. We were leaving the stadium and kept falling behind from my friends. You touched my back with your hands and I stopped and looked at you. You just wanted me to keep walking, but I wanted you to touch me more and protect me from the crowd of people. I didn’t want to lose you then, and I don’t want to lose you now. We finally got outside and I have never been so vulnerable to the weather as I was that night. It was ridiculously pouring and my raincoat instantly soaked through. You didn’t even have a hood and you looked so cute. You always look adorable. I had been kind of weird and quiet all night, but the rain part was fun. I laughed and laughed and you made a comment about how giggly I was. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but I felt embarrassed. I think I kept laughing though, it was too fun of an experience. I don’t think you knew that I rarely experience life. I had such an urge to grab your hand so you could lead me through the rain to the train station, but I didn’t do it. It would’ve been cute though. I had images of us kissing in the rain for the first time, but that didn’t happen either, but I felt so happy to be there with you even though walking in the rain doesn’t sound like the best experience. It completely made the day. You saw me freak out when I didn’t want to enter the overloaded train station full of smelly, drunk Bostonians. I was truly scared and I didn’t realize until after that I had a real freak out right there in front of you. You probably thought I was overdramatic. I didn’t want you to look at me once we finally got to the other train station. My hair was a disgusting disaster, my makeup was probably running, my shirt was stretched out and you could see the brassiere that I was wearing underneath. You looked at me though. I know you did. And I was dying to know if you thought I looked terrible, or if you thought I looked beautiful, but not once in the time we spent together did you ever say I did, so I think I looked as horrible as I felt. In the train you pretended you were going to put your head on my shoulder, and I wish you would’ve. But you didn’t. When we got to the car you wore my jacket and you looked so cute in it for the three whole minutes that you kept it on. I let you pick the songs on the way home but I made you stop at Marvin’s Room to listen to. I think you kept on Time After Time by Quietdrive, or maybe that was on the way up, but either way I think about you every time I hear it. We had an awkward car hug afterwards when I brought you home, and I texted you about my worries immediately when I got home four minutes later, but you claimed to have had a good time. So did I. I was so worried about what you were thinking though, and it made it kind of stressful. But the rain is what made it fun. The way you looked, the way I felt, the new experience. It made the date. I wrote in my journal so that I could always remember the feeling of happiness I felt on that day because I knew we would end up a mess at the end of the summer. And so we are.