I am going to be completely honest with you:
The reason why I didn’t stay is because I knew that something would happen between us and in my heart I know that I couldn’t do that to myself and to you. What would have even come from this anyways? As much as I wanted to kiss you I couldn’t let myself because I really do truly care about my boyfriend and I couldn’t do that to him. I know I don’t love him but what if I could? I’m not saying that I couldn’t love you I’m just saying that I can’t do this. Whatever would have happened I’m glad it didn’t because it would have left too many problems that I would not have been able to fix. I’m also upset that it didn’t happen because I wanted it so badly. I still want it. There are so many questions I have and I know I shouldn’t over think this but I can’t help it. I’ve never really dealt with this before. I’m not really sure how to move on or what to do.