It has been now 3 months since I last saw you, held you, kissed you, and felt your touch on my skin. It has been about a month now since we truly parted ways and I miss you.
We were together for pretty much a year to the day. That fateful night you blew me away. When we met I so needed love and support in my life. For the first time in 8 years I felt that as well as beautiful and amazing.
Obstacles, obstacles…. the distance; me in Philly and you in Boston. Your “situation”; in a loveless marriage. In spite of those things, we forged ahead together.
I have never known love as I did with you. Never have I loved anyone so completely and with out doubt or remorse. The only pains I ever felt were of our separation. How I spent many nights missing you.
Even now, I’m still hopelessly in love with you but it hurts just a little less. Not much, just a little. Above all I never wanted to lose our friendship. We promised to always be friends and you have been truly my best friend. Yet, you no longer answer any of my emails (the few I have sent) and you no longer call. As we started to try to part ways, I know this was the best thing but now I need my best friend back.
There is no chance I will randomly show up in Boston and I don’t think I will EVER see you in Philly again so do not fear.
I have come to realize that no matter how much time passes; I will always love you. That will never change. I know the type of love I want isn’t the kind I can have so I am happy just to call you friend. It will always hurt but with the passing of time just a little less.
Many years from now when I lay dying, I imagine that your name and our memories will be the last thing that I think of because you truly are my soul mate and will remain the love of my life.
My friend, if we never speak again, I wish you well. I want you to be happy. I want you to get all the things that you wish for. I just wish it would have been me you could share those things with.
My Love to you for Eternity,